once upon a lover
in a bed far far away
there was sleep in the morning
with no worries of waking up
empty-handed,
empty-armed.
i found one tiny little shell
on the whole wide beach
and i held it in my hand
and i thought,
well if i can find this
someone sure as hell
can find me.
Father forgive me
for falling in love with
with your prodigal son.
may i please have a few days
to spend
just giving up on everything?
i’ll return
ready for anything;
if i can only have a few days
doing nothing.
sorry
by ntozake shange
one thing i don’t need
is any more apologies
i got sorry greetin me at my front door
you can keep yrs
i don’t know what to do wit em
they dont open doors
or bring the sun back
they dont make me happy
or get a mornin paper
didnt nobody stop usin my tears to wash cars
cuz a sorry
i am simply tired
of collectin
i didnt know
i was so important toyou
i’m gonna haveta throw some away
i cant get to the clothes in my closet
for alla the sorries
i’m gonna tack a sign to my door
leave a message by the phone
‘if you called
to say yr sorry
call somebody
else
i dont use em anymore’
i let sorry/ didnt meanta/ & how cd i know abt that
take a walk down a dark & musty street in brooklyn
i’m gonna do exactly what i want to
& i wont be sorry for none of it
letta sorry soothe yr soul/ i’m gonna soothe mine
you were always inconsistent
doin somethin & then bein sorry
beatin my heart to death
talkin bout you sorry
well
i will not call
i’m not goin to be nice
i will raise my voice
& scream & holler
& break things & race the engine
& tell all yr secrets bout yrself to yr face
& i will list in detail everyone of my wonderful lovers
& their ways
i will play oliver lake
loud
& i wont be sorry for none of it
i loved you on purpose
i was open on purpose
i still crave vulnerability & close talk
& i’m not even sorry bout you bein sorry
you can carry all the guilt & grime ya wanna
just dont give it to me
i cant use another sorry
next time
you should admit
you’re mean/ low-down/ triflin/ & no count straight out
steada bein sorry alla the time
enjoy bein yrself
(Source: afropoets.net)
hello astronaut boy— how’s the moon?
it’s old man? yours? proud i’m sure.
sent you off like a first son, rocketed off
into outer space— i lost my mind in less
time than it took for you to leave the
stratosphere— i fear that that was your
design all along. wasn’t it? to disappear,
and leave me waiting down, down here,
looking up, watching shades of blue shift
and wondering if, if you were actually
nearer than it seemed— if the universe
were really like a side view mirror, showing
images, nearer than they seem to be.
i’m sure you’d say you are— in my heart—
closer than physical presence could bring
you— oh i’d redeem you if you took that
one back, i’d fall flat on my face, kiss the
ground and thank God for honest men—
but as it is your lies are thin and i see
straight through them— i’m climbing in
to my own space suit, protecting me from
the old spaces of you, in my mind, where
i can’t breathe, ‘cause it’s not air— it’s
something else— toxic.
astronaut boy, if you ever come down,
have some trouble planting your feet back
on the earth— for what it’s worth— i’ll
hand you a hand and it won’t mean more
than you think it should. it’ll just be one
being, being kind, to another. a friend.
yeah, in the end, that’s what we all need.
isn’t it? earth, sky & moon— they depend
on each other— don’t they?
out of the wilderness
entranced by her eyes
her skin her dress
her lips her thighs
he came like a sinner
claiming to save her
led her soul to water
and watched it drown.
a short conversation.
are you sick? are you ill,
do you have lypophrenia?
darling, what the hell is
lypophrenia? it’s a dull
feeling of sadness without
explanation.
no, darling, i know why
i’m unwell.
he was my favorite thing of all things i didn’t need and never got.
when we’re not honest
it’s for different reasons.
yours?
pride. fear.
mine?
fear. insecurity.
guess that’s why we’re here;
opposite poles,
magnetic attraction.
and lots of little lies,
and unsaid things.
swept under the rug
we keep between us,
never step on.
stepped on once,
and then what?
here again.
i hate here.
but not you.
no not you.
never hate you.
maybe hate me.
but not you.
no not you.
