posts tagged "poetry"

i’m trying to think about how to write about anger
and i’m coming up short
maybe later the poignant words
will meet me
where i am and point me
where i ought to go

anger oughtn’t be stored
a thoughtful man told me
it does not keep well
it envelops like vines
over time engulfing buildings
except it isn’t beautiful
it isn’t beautiful

i have a tender heart
a tendency of making everything beautiful
maybe later, what anger will tell me
is stop

It all piles up
Like dirty laundry
A heavy day upon another
A day, a night, a morning brings
A weight too thick some days
To see beyond

I’ll see beyond
I have before

if you won’t love me
you’ll love my words
you’ll read them and love them
you’ll read them and want more
you’ll read them and feel them
you’ll read them and feel me
and that will be
enough

your silence is like my window
which is old and lets in the draft
of the winter’s cold in this early spring
it’s supposed to be warmer than this
but it isn’t
and there’s no one to rectify this

if i could speak
everything i wanted to speak
i would speak many more curses
but i’d say not much more

i’m at this party

so i lean over the counter
on my elbows, with my face
the face of a woman who’s had too much wine
straining with every muscle not to seem so
and i listen to every word
of the person whose words
are aimed toward me
but every sense, every feeling i feel
is aimed slightly to my side
where the one i used to yearn for stands
with his hands in his pocket,
casually surveying everything
but not knowing even an inch
of what’s occurring
not in me

there are these muscles in the side of my face
that clench when i clench my teeth
and as i stood in the mirror tonight
trying to practice the way to say i’m sorry
but nothing will happen
we’re not meant to become
anything
they happened and
and i wished they’d go away
but that’s in vain
and i know it

the honest truth
is rarely ideal
but it’s always necessary
and i’m strong enough
to move through

I’m trying to clean.
I’m trying to get hurt out
but I guess all I’ve done
is move it around.

6 months, the index card series

last saturday i went by myself
to see a movie. i was treating myself.
i had a gift card, so the ticket was free
and the popcorn, and the overpriced water.

i sipped my water, ate my popcorn, watched,
content to throw off the outside world
for awhile.

the movie was about a girl who was
often alone. in the movie she went to a movie
alone. then she left her mother a message
complaining about the prices.

i’d say that scene was the low point of the movie.

the sky was still bright when i left the theatre.
i hated that movie more with every step. driving
home, i called my sister to complain. the call went
to voicemail, but i left no message.